"And they handed her a folded up tail and she held on to all she had left of her and what could have been. Hooves clatter'd 'round and she felt poundin' in her heart."


I know I haven't told anyone on here, and for that I'm sorry. I also say sorry for being absent for such a long time. I have been in a state of mourning. On September 11, 2008, I had to make the hardest decision of my life. I had to decide the fate of my beloved friend and dearest horse, Penny. I had the heartbreaking choice of a twenty-grand surgery which she most likely wouldn't make it out of, or letting her walk over the peaceful Rainbow Bridge. Saddly for my family and myself, I let the beautiful girl slip into an endless rest.

The girl had left me with the greatest ride she could have ever managed. She rode like... well like it was the last ride of her life. She had the most gliding gate she'd ever had, did everything I'd asked out of her, and cared for me like she knew I'd have to care for her later in the night. Less than ten minutes from home, she collapsed under me, and that ws the begining of her hell. She fought long and hard and when the vet arrived, she was still fighting for her life. With sedatives running thick in her blood, we raced her up to Lexing horse hospital. They found nothing wrong with her, but wanted to keep her overnight. As dreadful as it was, I decided to let her stay by herself at the hospital. I knew that my family was tired and worn out and wanted to go home. Before I left, I told the sweet mare, "I love you, Penny. I'll see you in the morning. And if I don't, I swear it's only because I love you. Good night, baby, I love you."

A devestating call came in, and I made the decision that my dearest friend didn't need to suffer anymore. I made the decision that it was better for her to be out of severe pain than to be selfish and allow her to suffer for me. I made the decision that allowed my family to keep my other two horses and not go into sever financial debt on the chance that my horse would make it out alive. I made the decision to allow my beloved Penny cross over the Rainbow Bridge. I'm not ashamed of the decision I made, and I'm not taking back the words that I said on that damn sunny morning. I don't regret the tears that fell as I went back to the place where I left her to gather her halter and pieces of her mane and tail. I'll never regret the tears that still fall to this day, almost eight months later. She was my dearest friend, the one that I could go to in thick and thin, and she would be there. She was the baby that I watched hit the ground on August 12, 2004, and she was the filly that I watched grow into a beautiful mare. She was the gental horse that taught me the ropes of breaking a horse, of gaining a filly's soul instead of breaking it. She was the sole reason that I abandoned the wreckless road I was traveling down. How could I go party if I had a baby to work with every day?


As it turns out, my sweet mare had been born with a hole in her abdominal cavity, up towards her chest. A small piece of her small instestines had slid into that hole. As scar tissue grew, the instestines could not escape (like a monkey with it's hand stuck in a jar). The tissue grew, slowly cutting off circulation to the intestines. Penny had coliced, ever so slowly, over the period of her whole life.

She silently delt with the pain, becoming the greatest horse that I had ever laid my hands on. I miss my dear friend quite greatly, and every day I think about her sweet sorrel face, about how she would sunbathe in her stall, about her being a little water-horse and about our last ride together. She still means the world to me, and even as I write I can feel the knot tying in my throat. And though I miss the girl deeply, I can honestly say that I beleive the quote, "For every loved one you loose, you gain another." If it weren't for the disaster that occured, I would have never met the man that I wish to spend the rest of my life with. He was there with me, through the hours of walking the sweet horse through her colic, to the ride out to Lexington to drop my sweet horse off and also the ride back out to pick up the memories.



She her hoofprints all over my heart, and I'll never forget the sweet girl. There will never be another one like her, and for that, I am certain.

Rest in piece, my sweet Penny.
. August 12, 2004 - Sepembe 11, 2008 .